Portfolio: Reflective Letter

Writing 101 helped me determine where I was with my writing in so many ways. It made me realize my downsides and upsides in writing. Writing is a key part of my life in so many ways. Throughout these nine weeks, I have learned how to write more effectively. I use writing everyday, whether it’s a research paper or a simple email. Before taking this class, I thought writing was boring, and it was never going to help me in my life. Although, after taking this class, I am realizing how important writing actually is. Writing is a great means of communication, and it allows the writer to express his feelings freely.

In Writing 101, I found out a lot of good and interesting things on how to improve my writing. On top of that, this class made me realize my weaknesses in writing, and how I can improve them. The choice of words I use in my essays were not that effective. I wasn’t able to get my point across. For an example, in my rough draft of essay number two, I had written, “The best way to prevent sex offenders to strike again is to greater the punishment.” Although with the help of my teacher and my peers, I was able to realize my mistake and for my final essay I had written, “The best way to prevent sex offenders to strike again is to maximize their punishment.” I also had the same Problem in essay number one. The choice of words that the writer uses enables the reader to follow with what the writer is trying to say or point out. This is a key part in writing. If a writer is his writing easy to read with good usage of words, the reader will most likely enjoy the work. I may have struggled with the choice of words I used, but I am trying each and every time I write to improve my writing.

When I finished essay number one, my peers, as well as my teacher had commented me on my introduction. My introduction was extremely boring and it was just informative. For instance, in essay number one, I had written, “Child prostitution is a child’s nightmare, yet there is one place where any teen prostitute can go and call a home for herself. The Children of the Night, which is an excellent shelter for teenage prostitutes, was founded by Louis Lee.” After realizing where I went wrong, I went to go get help. My teacher, Craig Mckenny, helped me out in so many ways. For an example, he taught me how to write an attention grabber, and grab the readers interest right off the bat. So for my introduction in essay number two, I had written, "At the age of 13, Alexia Rubio, a teenage girl, was walking back from the park to her house by herself. On the way, a man jumped out in front of her and sexually assaulted her... Housing is a privilege, and it is a human right until the privilege is lost by committing a sex crime, especially against a helpless minor.” This introduction starts off with a story, which is my attention grabber. Also my thesis is well developed, and is very arguable. I believe I have improved drastically on how to develop my introduction.

Ever since I started writing my first essay, I realized my organization and sentence structure was good. I had stated a thought or an idea and I had supported it with a fact or a statement. For an example in essay number one, I had written, "Currently, the housing prices are dropping significantly from the past year, and the interest rate seems to be lowering. In an article from CNN.com, Ben Rooney, who covers most of the money related stories for the news channel writes, 'The report showed that the national median existing-home price for all housing types fell 6.3%'.” During this class, I learned that by supporting my thoughts or ideas, it enables the reader to comprehend what you are trying to say better. It also adds wisdom to your essay. This is important for the writer because it allows the reader to have some kind of knowledge on the subject.

Writing 101 was an excellent class for me because of many reasons. It helped me how to develop well supported paragraphs, how to add the "I" and "They" say effectively into an essay, develop a good introduction, and good usage of grammar. It taught me the basic fundamentals to good writing, which was the main purpose for me to take the class. I got a lot out of that class, and I look forward to applying that information to my life. Writing is all about you and your creativeness. Also, I learned how to think outside the box, and add the view of the reader in all aspects, whether it is negative or positive. Writing 101 was at first a little hard on me, but as time went by I grabbed on to some key things in order for me to be a successful writer.

Portfolio: Essay 2

At the age of 13, Alexia Rubio, a teenage girl, was walking back from the park to her house by herself. On the way, a man jumped out in front of her and sexually assaulted her. Currently, Alexia Rubio is scarred for life and keeps getting nightmares about what happened that day. As of the man who attacked her, a level 2 sex offender, was sentenced to three years in jail. People may say that everyone deserves housing and the right to freedom. However, not every person deserves the “American dream.” In fact some people don’t even deserve any kind of housing at all. A sex offender, one who has been criminally charged and convicted of, or has pleaded guilty to, a sex crime, is the least welcome resident in any city or neighborhood. Sex offenders should not be given the same choices as any other American citizen, because of the severity of the crime they have made. Parents fear for the safety of their kids, and sex offenders have a greater chance of re-offending where kids are near by. Very few sex offenders are able to change their habits and their thoughts of mind and start a new life. This statistic makes people very scared and forcing the city and state to react by making tougher laws against sex offenders. Such laws consist of sex offenders are to stay away a certain distance from schools, parks, pools, and any place where kids are to be playing or living. The best way to prevent sex offenders to strike again is to maximize their punishment. Housing is a privilege, and it is a human right until the privilege is lost by committing a sex crime, especially against a helpless minor.

Sex offenders are categorized in three levels, a level one, a level two and a level three offense. The level one sex offenders are people with a minor sex offense, yet the level three offenders are predators that are likely to re-offend. Then why are these sex predators out on the streets? In a press release by The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, it shows that the United States has 603,000 registered sex offenders and 100,000 are unaccounted for. These sex predators can be our neighbors without no one realizing it. This is not good news for Americans. The only way to solve this is to either provide some kind of housing for all sex offenders, micro chip them or sentence them to life in prison. “We will not mess around with those who mess with our children,” Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, R-Calif., said in June of 2006, “We will find them. We will put them in jail. And we will keep them there.” I believe with Governor Schwarzenegger, that it is possible to catch and put these predators behind bars. In a report from last April, the U.S. Marshall Service caught up with 1,102 people who are either wanted for a sex crime or sex offenders who have failed to register. General Alberto R. Gonzales, a U.S. attorney, says “The operation targeted the worst of the worst.” The majority of Americans may agree with him, but there may be a few people who disagree. Critics say that tougher laws, especially in Iowa, have made sex offenders go on the run and become an extreme danger to the people of America. On the other hand, the sex crimes in Iowa have dropped significantly ever since tougher laws have been in place. Also it makes complete sense to guard kids from sexual predators. State Representative Keen, a sponsor of a Georgia proximity law states, “People are putting a premium on the safety of kids.” I agree with Mr. Keen, the only way to secure the future for America is to take care of the young generation, and one major step that will help is to take sex offenders out of society. They are a bad influence not only to our second generation, but more generations to follow.

Housing is an opportunity that every man and woman has in America. Although, anyone can lose that opportunity in a heart beat. All it takes is one mistake to lose the right to housing. The reason for the harsh regulation is to keep people from re-offending and the safety of the citizens of the United States. According to Stacie Rumenap, the executive director for Stop Child Predators writes in an article, “Sex offenders are four times more likely than other criminals to commit a sexual offense.” Although some may argue, that sex offenders should be given a second time, I believe it is too big of a threat to the general public. Parents should not have to worry about a sex offender living next door. If a sex offender does live near a minor, he is more likely to re-offend and destroy yet another innocent life. If I was a parent, I would never want a sex offender living near me or my kids. I would always have doubts in my mind, and worry all the time about my kids. I wouldn’t want any other parent doing the same, and that’s exactly why tougher laws are being placed against sex offenders.

In recent studies, fewer sex crimes have been committed in the last decade than in the 1990's, and the reports show that the decline in sex crimes is a result in tougher laws, making people aware of the consequences they may face if they commit such a crime. A recent law that has been passed enables a 30-year minimum sentence for those who have sex with a child younger than 12. The U.S. Department of Justice has made fighting sex offenders a top priority, and it seems like they are doing an excellent job of it. People might argue that new laws do more harm than good. Although part of it may seem correct, in the long run it is the right decision made by law makers. This “harsh” punishment will make sex offenders think twice of recommitting a sex crime, or a person to commit a sex crime for the first time. Electronic monitoring, frequent visits by patrol officers and restricted zoning are just some of the ways the U.S. government is helping battle the war between the U.S. citizens and sex offenders. A study from the University of Florida State shows that out of 75,000 sex offenders placed on a GPS monitoring system, 67,500 sex offenders did not re-offend, which is 90% of the entire number of sexual predators tested. People are now aware of the severe consequences of a sex crime, and most are not willing to risk their entire life for a “fantasy” they might have.

Alexia Rubio is now 16 years old, and the man who demolished her self esteem is now free. Alexia goes to get treatment once a week for the incident that occurred three years ago. The last thing any parent would want is getting a sex offender notice flyer in the mail. In the western culture, sex offenders are never welcomed, because of the threat they pose to anyone. Sex offenders reduce the value of the neighborhood. I believe most sex offenders are not able to change their habit of sexual “fantasies” with minors, and should not be given a second chance to re-offend. Sexual predators, in reality, have a better life in prison, where they get food, a clean shower, and a shelter. It is in the best interest of everyone if sex offenders are kept in a safe place, where they can not devastate any more lives. They should receive the utmost punishment possible, and they should not be given any other shelter besides the jail cell.

Works Cited

DAVEY, MONICA, and ABBY GOODNOUGH. "Doubts Rise as States Hold Sex Offenders After Prison." NY Times. 4 Mar. 2007. 25 July 2008 .

Friederich, Steven. "Predator housing elusive." Seattle PI. 4 Feb. 2003. 25 July 2008 .

Greenblatt, Alan. "Sex Offenders." CQ Researcher. 8 Sept. 2006. 25 July 2008 .

JONES, MAGGIE. "How Can You Distinguish a Budding Pedophile From a Kid With Real Boundary Problems?" NY Times. 22 July 2007. 25 July 2008 .

Warren, Jenifer. "Sex Offender Housing Scarce." LA Times. 31 May 2006. 25 July 2008 .

Portfolio: Essay Number 3

“Yes, we finally landed!” exclaimed someone on the airplane. I took a big sigh of relief, as I stood up after a fourteen hour flight. Walking outside the airport in India, I noticed a group of kids sleeping on the ground. My dad exclaims, “Don’t worry son, you are going to see a lot of that.” I could see some kids shivering from the cold, December night. Those young kids have no idea of what the world is outside their little area. As I place my jacket around one of the kids, another wakes up, and I saw the need in the little boy’s eyes. I hand him 100 rupees, but my sister yells, “Don’t do that. They all are going to follow you until you give them all something!” As I hurry up, I give the boy 100 rupees, and I ran back to my family. On our way to the car, a group of old men came and started grabbing our luggage bags. “Hey, welcome to India, long live your kids!” they yelled. “Let us carry your luggage for you.” My dad said, “No!” At first, but the group of young men kept on yelling, “Long live your kids, let us please carry your luggage.” I thought to myself, “Wow, is this India?” Overcome with sadness, my dad handed each men 50 rupees, and yelled, “Please leave us alone.”

All seven of us got in the car that only holds five people. “You guys ready?” asked the driver. I responded by saying, “Yes” in a discomfort voice. Once we left the airport, I saw little huts, with people living inside of them. “They all treat us like God,” exclaimed the driver, talking about the people living in the tiny huts. I was shocked to hear this. “Ok guys, we are approaching a red light,” said my dad. I wondered to myself why he was telling us that. Next thing I know I see kids banging on our window, trying to sell us stuff. My mom, who felt bad, bought a rose and gave them 100 rupees for tip. My uncle said, “Too bad all that money is going to get snatched by the kid’s boss.” I remembered when my dad always told me, “You guys are lucky to be in a country like America.” I then thought to myself, “Is this my background?” Next thing I knew I fell asleep.

All of a sudden I wake up, finding myself looking at a relatively beat up house. I asked, “Where am I?” My dad answers, “This is our house, and it is where I grew up.” I, being astonished, opened the door and looked around to see the house. My mom says, “Do you realize how lucky you are to have a house like you do in America?” I asked my uncle where that smell was coming from and he said it was the sewage. He explained to me their sewer system, it was a three inch wide gap on the side of all the homes that had all the wastes in it. I followed the gap and it led to some river. My uncle yelled, “Hey do you want to go see something?” I being excited, said, “Sure, I would love to!” We reached the river and I saw some very poor people taking a shower. I yelled at them saying, “The water isn’t clean and healthy, and it could be a hazard for your health.” They all looked at me and said, “This is the only water we have.” I said to myself, “Is this the ‘real’ life in India?”

Life is completely different. I used complain all the time about getting new clothes, yet in India, people didn’t even have a single shirt, and they never complained. I have always been dependent on my parents my whole life, and never would I imagine some sixteen year old kid, trying to make a living by himself. Here in America, we have the privilege to go to school, and learn about things. While in India, some people are called fortunate if they go to high school. Kids are forced to work, and don't have the opportunity to build their future. I have a hard time to picture a young boy being slaved to work, and still not have enough food for him. My trip to India showed me the real world outside of America, where people have to fight to get their daily bread. I am completely lucky to have an abundant life full of happiness and the necessities of life. It completely changed the way I think about life forever.

This trip made me want to make a change. I find it to be my duty to take care of my home country. I am planning to get my MBA, and open business schools in India for free. This will enable the poor to join, and I would provide three meals a day to each child. Hopefully, this will establish a little bit of a financial support for some families, and be able to provide them with food every night. This may not solve the entire problem, but it is my job to start a change and hopefully other people like me will step up. I can still remember the little boy who was shivering in the cold, having no idea of what a blanket is. Life is extremely harsh and tough especially in a third world country. Although things are getting better, there is still a long way to go to get rid of all the poverty.

In Portfolio: Final Exam

The first time I had written an essay in high school, I was nervous. I didn’t know whether my essay was good enough. I knew I had made a lot of mistakes, but I didn’t know how to change them. However, with the help of my teacher and my peers, I was able to make some revisions to my essay. In writing, it is important to read, re-read, and have someone else read the paper before turning in the final draft, especially in college. In fact, most of the well developed authors have to make revisions to their work. No matter who the writer may be, no one is perfect the first time. There are always changes or improvements needed on essays. A key process in writing that I learned was plan, write, edit and re-write. Revisions have helped me a lot not only in writing but in life as well.

Nora Ephron, the author of Revision and Life: Take it From the Top—Again, writes in a passage, “I suspect there is just so much you can teach college students about revision.” She first believed the process of editing any essay after the first draft is unnecessary. She writes, “When I was in college, I revised nothing. I wrote out my papers in longhand, typed them up and turned them in.” Her style of thinking was getting the essay over as soon as possible. However, realizing the mistake she had made, she later writes, “It would never have crossed my mind that what I had produced was only a first draft and that I had more work to do.” Writing is a process that takes time. Having done something once and looking over it, will definitely improve the quality of the work. Nora Ephron, realized that technology these days has significantly improved, and teachers and professors are no longer interested in longhand written essays. On top of that she now acknowledges the fact of revision in writing is essential.

I, at first, believed the same thing. In elementary, I was told to just sit down and write. This style of thinking brought me to high school. This is where I realized where I was going wrong. As I always remembered it, “Class the four parts of writing are, plan, edit, write and re-write.” Without editing and making revisions on the essay, the writer is decreasing his or her ability to write. After hearing suggestions and re-reading the essay, I found where my mistakes had been, and I was able to change them. On top of that, having the paper edited will teach the writer many things. This quarter, having my paper read by a well recognized writer, established me to make my paper better in all aspects. It taught me how to develop a well detailed introduction with an attention grabber, how to get rid of clutter, and know how to put the “I” and “They” say in my work. Without revising my essay, my work would be a complete mess.

Nora Ephron and I kind of had the same experience. We both, at first, thought revising was not necessary in writing. Nonetheless, we have learned from our mistakes. Having the paper read and revised gives the writer a feeling of security. It allows the writer to look over his or her work and see his or her mistakes before it is too late. This quarter of Writing 101, I had significantly seen the improvement of my work through revising my first draft. In fact, I realized that revising the essay once, still leaves room for error. With that in mind, I read all of my essays this quarter more than once. As some people put it, “Practice makes perfect.” In writing, I would say “Revising makes perfect.” This quarter I have learned how to revise effectively and use it to my own advantage.

The first essay, which I had trouble making changes to, went pretty good. After getting help and making the correct decisions, I ended up getting an A. Revising any essay only makes it better, although the writer has to acknowledge the fact where he or she has went wrong. People make revisions to their lives every day. Now more people, like Nora Ephron, are realizing the necessity of revision in the writing process. It is always wise to go back and check any work before it is completed. A good written essay is developed with well thought and patience. I have learned a lot from just revising my work before turning it in. It allows people to see their mistakes ahead of time. With revising my essays, I have become better writer every time I write.

_______________________________________________________________________________

My Real Home (FINAL)

“Yes, we finally landed!” exclaimed someone on the airplane. I took a big sigh of relief, as I stood up after a fourteen hour flight. Walking outside the airport in India, I noticed a group of kids sleeping on the ground. My dad exclaims, “Don’t worry son, you are going to see a lot of that.” I could see some kids shivering from the cold, December night. Those young kids have no idea of what the world is outside their little area. As I place my jacket around one of the kids, another wakes up, and I saw the need in the little boy’s eyes. I hand him 100 rupees, but my sister yells, “Don’t do that. They all are going to follow you until you give them all something!” As I hurry up, I give the boy 100 rupees, and I ran back to my family. On our way to the car, a group of old men came and started grabbing our luggage bags. “Hey, welcome to India, long live your kids!” they yelled. “Let us carry your luggage for you.” My dad said, “No!” At first, but the group of young men kept on yelling, “Long live your kids, let us please carry your luggage.” I thought to myself, “Wow, is this India?” Overcome with sadness, my dad handed each men 50 rupees, and yelled, “Please leave us alone.”

All seven of us got in the car that only holds five people. “You guys ready?” asked the driver. I responded by saying, “Yes” in a discomfort voice. Once we left the airport, I saw little huts, with people living inside of them. “They all treat us like God,” exclaimed the driver, talking about the people living in the tiny huts. I was shocked to hear this. “Ok guys, we are approaching a red light,” said my dad. I wondered to myself why he was telling us that. Next thing I know I see kids banging on our window, trying to sell us stuff. My mom, who felt bad, bought a rose and gave them 100 rupees for tip. My uncle said, “Too bad all that money is going to get snatched by the kid’s boss.” I remembered when my dad always told me, “You guys are lucky to be in a country like America.” I then thought to myself, “Is this my background?” Next thing I knew I fell asleep.

All of a sudden I wake up, finding myself looking at a relatively beat up house. I asked, “Where am I?” My dad answers, “This is our house, and it is where I grew up.” I, being astonished, opened the door and looked around to see the house. My mom says, “Do you realize how lucky you are to have a house like you do in America?” I asked my uncle where that smell was coming from and he said it was the sewage. He explained to me their sewer system, it was a three inch wide gap on the side of all the homes that had all the wastes in it. I followed the gap and it led to some river. My uncle yelled, “Hey do you want to go see something?” I being excited, said, “Sure, I would love to!” We reached the river and I saw some very poor people taking a shower. I yelled at them saying, “The water isn’t clean and healthy, and it could be a hazard for your health.” They all looked at me and said, “This is the only water we have.” I said to myself, “Is this the ‘real’ life in India?”

Life is completely different. I used complain all the time about getting new clothes, yet in India, people didn’t even have a single shirt, and they never complained. I have always been dependent on my parents my whole life, and never would I imagine some sixteen year old kid, trying to make a living by himself. Here in America, we have the privilege to go to school, and learn about things. While in India, some people are called fortunate if they go to high school. Kids are forced to work, and don't have the opportunity to build their future. I have a hard time to picture a young boy being slaved to work, and still not have enough food for him. My trip to India showed me the real world outside of America, where people have to fight to get their daily bread. I am completely lucky to have an abundant life full of happiness and the necessities of life. It completely changed the way I think about life forever.

This trip made me want to make a change. I find it to be my duty to take care of my home country. I am planning to get my MBA, and open business schools in India for free. This will enable the poor to join, and I would provide three meals a day to each child. Hopefully, this will establish a little bit of a financial support for some families, and be able to provide them with food every night. This may not solve the entire problem, but it is my job to start a change and hopefully other people like me will step up. I can still remember the little boy who was shivering in the cold, having no idea of what a blanket is. Life is extremely harsh and tough especially in a third world country. Although things are getting better, there is still a long way to go to get rid of all the poverty.

My Reflective Essay (FINAL)

Writing 101 helped me determine where I was with my writing in so many ways. It made me realize my downsides and upsides in writing. Writing is a key part of my life in so many ways. Throughout these nine weeks, I have learned how to write more effectively. I use writing everyday, whether it’s a research paper or a simple email. Before taking this class, I thought writing was boring, and it was never going to help me in my life. Although, after taking this class, I am realizing how important writing actually is. Writing is a great means of communication, and it allows the writer to express his feelings freely.

In Writing 101, I found out a lot of good and interesting things on how to improve my writing. On top of that, this class made me realize my weaknesses in writing, and how I can improve them. The choice of words I use in my essays were not that effective. I wasn’t able to get my point across. For an example, in my rough draft of essay number two, I had written, “The best way to prevent sex offenders to strike again is to greater the punishment.” Although with the help of my teacher and my peers, I was able to realize my mistake and for my final essay I had written, “The best way to prevent sex offenders to strike again is to maximize their punishment.” I also had the same Problem in essay number one. The choice of words that the writer uses enables the reader to follow with what the writer is trying to say or point out. This is a key part in writing. If a writer is his writing easy to read with good usage of words, the reader will most likely enjoy the work. I may have struggled with the choice of words I used, but I am trying each and every time I write to improve my writing.

When I finished essay number one, my peers, as well as my teacher had commented me on my introduction. My introduction was extremely boring and it was just informative. For instance, in essay number one, I had written, “Child prostitution is a child’s nightmare, yet there is one place where any teen prostitute can go and call a home for herself. The Children of the Night, which is an excellent shelter for teenage prostitutes, was founded by Louis Lee.” After realizing where I went wrong, I went to go get help. My teacher, Craig Mckenny, helped me out in so many ways. For an example, he taught me how to write an attention grabber, and grab the readers interest right off the bat. So for my introduction in essay number two, I had written, "At the age of 13, Alexia Rubio, a teenage girl, was walking back from the park to her house by herself. On the way, a man jumped out in front of her and sexually assaulted her... Housing is a privilege, and it is a human right until the privilege is lost by committing a sex crime, especially against a helpless minor.” This introduction starts off with a story, which is my attention grabber. Also my thesis is well developed, and is very arguable. I believe I have improved drastically on how to develop my introduction.

Ever since I started writing my first essay, I realized my organization and sentence structure was good. I had stated a thought or an idea and I had supported it with a fact or a statement. For an example in essay number one, I had written, "Currently, the housing prices are dropping significantly from the past year, and the interest rate seems to be lowering. In an article from CNN.com, Ben Rooney, who covers most of the money related stories for the news channel writes, 'The report showed that the national median existing-home price for all housing types fell 6.3%'.” During this class, I learned that by supporting my thoughts or ideas, it enables the reader to comprehend what you are trying to say better. It also adds wisdom to your essay. This is important for the writer because it allows the reader to have some kind of knowledge on the subject.

Writing 101 was an excellent class for me because of many reasons. It helped me how to develop well supported paragraphs, how to add the "I" and "They" say effectively into an essay, develop a good introduction, and good usage of grammar. It taught me the basic fundamentals to good writing, which was the main purpose for me to take the class. I got a lot out of that class, and I look forward to applying that information to my life. Writing is all about you and your creativeness. Also, I learned how to think outside the box, and add the view of the reader in all aspects, whether it is negative or positive. Writing 101 was at first a little hard on me, but as time went by I grabbed on to some key things in order for me to be a successful writer.